Choose a category
All available accessories are listed below in their proper section with an elaborate drawing, their actual picture, and an accompanying description. Select one of the links below to quickly move to the section you would like to browse or just go through the entire list below.
- Head
- Top Hat
- Colonial Wig
- Sweet Hat
- Zeus Beard
- Knight’s Helm
- Flying Hat
- Goose Shades
- A Fez
- Eau de Nuclette
- Sound Muffs
- Bamboozler
- Nixon Mask
- Super Pope
- A Glumulus
- Sombreroana
- Broom Top
- Voodoo Hood
- Viking Hat
- Metal Helmet
- Body
- Lumbar Stamp
- Holy Mutation
- Skinner Stick
- Fossil Fuel
- Decoy Target
- Marx’s Mark
- A Huge Jet
- Lance
- Blanketito
- Moped Seat
- Swashbuckler
- Peace Flag
- Raptor Pouch
- Rusty Katana
- The Sixer
- Skull Necklace
- DJ DizWiz
- The Moon
- Legs
- Sweatband
- Barbie Tat
- Secret Cast
- Guard Belt
- Krazyknees
- Soulless Boot
- The Deringer
- Paper Anklet
- Oscar R.I.P.
- Tail
- Suits
Head
Top Hat
The original model, crafted long ago by an unknown being. Probably an alien or something.
Price
FREE
Colonial Wig
Made with 100% real horse hair, then soaked in eggs, pasta and gasoline, for that extra funky feel.
Price
FREE
Sweet Hat
Useful when bees existed. Now, a fashion statement stating: “That’s a sweet hat! What is it?”
Price
FREE
Zeus Beard©
Complete with Just-for-Zeus 5 minute dye kit. Comes in just one style and color: Godly.
Price
FREE
Knight’s Helmet
Previously used for defense, now it only has one strength: steel. Weakness: damsels.
Price
FREE
Flying Hat
A battery powered flying hat that allows the wearer to fly. Batteries not included.
Price
FREE
Goose Shades
Made from Canadian geese eyes, the clearest on Pangaea. They also never leave a wingman behind.
Price
5 Kreds
500 D.N.A.
A Fez
Presented to you in 2D. Most of the time. The other times, a monkey is wearing it.
Price
5 Kreds
500 D.N.A.
Eau de Nuclette
A battery powered flying hat that allows the wearer to fly. Batteries not included.
Price
10 Kreds
1000 D.N.A.
Sound Muffs
Sound quality beyond imagination. No really, you have to make up the sounds in your head.
Price
5 Kreds
500 D.N.A.
Bamboozler
Bamboo leaves woven on a framework of titanium alloy, otherwise this thing would be really heavy.
Price
10 Kreds
1000 D.N.A.
Nixon Mask
Perfect for impromptu bank robberies, political protests and birthday parties.
Price
10 Kreds
1000 D.N.A.
Super Pope
Not all popes are created equal! Go, Super Pope, GO! Bathe the unwashed with a fire-hose!
Price
15 Kreds
1500 D.N.A.
A Glumulus
Makes a sad day sadder, but some of us are glad when it rains. If you’re a cloud, it’s like peeing. Yay!
Price
20 Kreds
2000 D.N.A.
Sombreroana
A perfect accompaniment to the Blanketito. Keeps the sun out of your eyes and on the prize.
Price
15 Kreds
1500 D.N.A.
Broom Top
Keeps swords away and also doubles as a handy-dandy sweeper-upper dealio.
Price
10 Kreds
1000 D.N.A.
Voodoo Hood
Made with all-natural real particle board. Improves fertility and vitality in true believers.
Price
15 Kreds
1500 D.N.A.
Viking Hat
80% Valhallan polyester, 20% viking rage. Flammable when on fire.
Price
10 Kreds
1000 D.N.A.
Metal Helmet
When it’s killing time, Animal Mother doesn’t take any prisoners. Only souls.
Price
10 Kreds
1000 D.N.A.
Body
Lumbar Stamp
Procured after a long night of dancing, this rune will surely gain you the respect of the herd.
Price
FREE
Holy Mutation
Custom fitted angel wings made by Angles. Waterproof.
Price
15 Kreds
1500 D.N.A.
Skinner Stick
When it’s killing time, Animal Mother doesn’t take any prisoners. Only souls.
Price
15 Kreds
1500 D.N.A.
Fossil Fuel
Renewable energy every 250 million years. Requires premium octane. No ethanol.
Price
5 Kreds
500 D.N.A.
Decoy Target
Originally designed to encourage better aiming, this target discourages it. Don’t ask how.
Price
10 Kreds
1000 D.N.A.
Marx’s Mark
Risk it all with this genuine fixture of alt-politics! EZ-blacklist kit sold separately.
Price
10 Kreds
1000 D.N.A.
A Huge Jet
To achieve flight, requires Bernoulli and tons of metal. Until then, good for drying off after a bath.
Price
15 Kreds
1500 D.N.A.
Lance
It’s a lance. Isn’t that good enough? It takes down Knights of the Roundtable and stuff.
Price
10 Kreds
1000 D.N.A.
Blanketito
The sun don’t shine all day. The desert is as cold as your blood. And lizard-murder. That’s cold too.
Price
15 Kreds
1500 D.N.A.
Moped Seat
You are the wheels, and freedom is your motor. Ride hard!
Price
15 Kreds
1500 D.N.A.
Swashbuckler
Passed down from the great ancestors of pirates, this military sash now decorates proper pirates.
Price
15 Kreds
1500 D.N.A.
Peace Flag
Pace is pronounced ‘potch eh,’ it means ‘peace’ for all cultures and all people everywhere. No joke.
Price
10 Kreds
1000 D.N.A.
Raptor Pouch
Perfect for any off-road excursion, includes hidden morningstar and jeep. Tacos are extra.
Price
10 Kreds
1000 D.N.A.
Rusty Katana
This legendary sword is rumored one of the rarest forged East of the Mason-Dixon line.
Price
10 Kreds
1000 D.N.A.
The Sixer
Last brew, past curfew, closed bar. Throw caution to the wind. And then, throw it in the ocean.
Price
10 Kreds
1000 D.N.A.
Skull Necklace
This is one boss necklace. It’s enchanted, shrunk, then washed, then enchanted again to taste.
Price
10 Kreds
1000 D.N.A.
DJ DizWiz
Drop prehistoric beats with 52″ growlers and the smoothest ptero-needle ever sold!
Price
15 Kreds
1500 D.N.A.
The Moon
Show the world your birthday suit with this zipper. Does not zip up. Can cause pneumonia.
Price
10 Kreds
1000 D.N.A.
Legs
Sweatband
It’s just a sweatband… Until fused with lizard scales, it becomes a Saline Secretion Inhibitor!
Price
FREE
Barbie Tat
Jammed into the flesh with real barbed wire, this tattoo tells the enemy: “I love pain!”
Price
5 Kreds
500 D.N.A.
Secret Cast
To the untrained eye, this looks like a broken leg. But in reality, it’s just plaster and cloth.
Price
10 Kreds
1000 D.N.A.
Guard Belt
Baby blue and pink lace woven with cyanide and death. May cause rash.
Price
5 Kreds
500 D.N.A.
Krazyknees
Are your knees krazy? No? Well that’s what we meant, with a ‘c’ yes, but it’s Krrrazy! With a k.
Price
15 Kreds
1500 D.N.A.
Soulless Boot
Guards against arc-welder sparks and spandex-clad dancers. Also rumored to warm foot.
Price
10 Kreds
1000 D.N.A.
The Deringer
This gun doesn’t have bullets. It has something much deadlier. Lingerie.
Price
5 Kreds
500 D.N.A.
Paper Anklet
Like coat tails, but classier. Not to be confused with toilet paper.
Price
5 Kreds
500 D.N.A.
Oscar R.I.P.
Its contents unknown, but somehow now the world seems a little less grouchy.
Price
10 Kreds
1000 D.N.A.
Tail
Ol’ Trusty
The best from a set of 55, discount, one-time-only knives, sharper than 1,000 Bald Eagles. Act now.
Price
10 Kreds
1000 D.N.A.
Cotton Tail
Packed with calories, this “bunny-tail” is spun of sugar and obesity. Wave it to flirt with America.
Price
10 Kreds
1000 D.N.A.
Band of Angst
Spikes as big as devil horns. Hand-sewn leather thicker than goat’s blood. Hand-sacrificed goats.
Price
10 Kreds
1000 D.N.A.
The Stay Kite
Guaranteed to stay in the air, even when there’s no wind! Or atmosphere! Tetanus not included.
Price
15 Kreds
1500 D.N.A.
Rock Maracas
Filled with rocks instead of sand. That way when the lizard swings its tail, it kills things.
Price
10 Kreds
1000 D.N.A.
Flizarish Tail
Evolution is everywhere, even in Pangaea. Fish fused with lizards to make flizarish tails. It’s science.
Price
10 Kreds
1000 D.N.A.
A Piranha
Wild ‘n’ free they roam the pastures of the Amazon in search of boats, or lizard tails. True story.
Price
10 Kreds
1000 D.N.A.
Suits
Biz Suit
Guaranteed to shoot any young intern to full partner within 1 year or your money back.
Price
25 Kreds
2500 D.N.A.
Dave’s Suit
My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. Daisy. Daisy…
Price
30 Kreds
3000 D.N.A.
Tinookey Soot
Skinned from strange shape-shifting animals. Does not turn you into stone, or shape-shift.
Price
30 Kreds
3000 D.N.A.